Tips for Bondage and SM Play

Always have a plan to get them out of bondage ASAP if needed. Keys, scissors, sheers, and cutters at the ready!

Sometimes a slow build-up is really nice. Remind the sub at the next bondage addition of the freedom they have lost.

Abnormally hot weather outside can cause bodies to react differently to stressful situations such as Bondage. This means increased chances of fainting. Even if you have Airconditioning, be careful.

Always keep an ear out for blocked noses on subs during bondage where the head is leaning forwards or facing down. Extra attention when hoods/muzzles/gags are involved.

When releasing limbs from bondage, let the sub slowly start moving at their own pace. Stiffness releases slowly and differently for every person. If really needed, guide a limb slowly.

Fixating a subs head, by means of a head harness, muzzle or hood, can increase the feeling of helplessness drastically, even if the rest of the body is not completely fixated. Remember, bondage plays with the mind. Being effective helps create an awesome scene!

A gag is a powerful bondage tool. It can be more powerful than restricting movement or sight. It takes away one of the fundamental controls one has, which is a being able to mediate, protest and communicate. So even in light bondage, gagging someone makes a big impact.

When using chains: connect the chain at the subs body first before tensioning at the attachment point. This makes the bondage look neat and tidy.

Invest in multiple padlocks that can be opened with a single key. You can get a sub out of chain bondage within seconds. Added bonus: Each padlock comes with a set of keys, so there are always spares 😉

Secure bondage contains a lot of physics. Look at every bondage fixation as a free-body problem. Have you secured movement in all directions? Have you checked if a body/limb can rotate around a point? I like to see bondage as a puzzle sometimes.

Temperature control is very important! Take the room temp, gear your sub is going to wear, amount of energy expended by the sub during bondage, and ventilation into account. You can try to wear the same kind of gear as the sub, this gives you an idea of the experienced temp.

Don’t know what part of the body to secure next? Give the sub a good „poke“ and he will show you where Bondage is needed.

Get a calf feeder bottle so that you can easily feed your subs water during a bondage scene. It’s easy and it has an added degradation bonus! Remember, hydrate your subs!

A bit tip: Take your time! The sub isn’t going anywhere! To a sub, it’s all about suspense and it’s ok to take some time to let it grow. Give yourself some time to ponder your next move, enjoy the subs helplessness, take some pictures or just enjoy the view!

When working with locks and eyelets on the floor, make sure there’s no way a sub can step on them by accident. Especially during an intense SM scene. If worried, make the sub wear shoes or boots like in the picture.

Take note of a subs fingers in a scene. If they are flexing, it could mean that they’re starting to sleep or a nerve is being pinched. While you have to trust a sub to tell you if anything is wrong, you can anticipate early on when a bondage positions needs to be changed.

Get yourself some of these quick releases if you’re going to tie/chain anything that may need to be released quickly.

Best way to test a stress position for a sub is to try it out yourself. Assume the position and imagine where the attachment points will be. What are your options to relieve stress? To to make it more evil? Which muscle will hurt first? Knees? Ask yourself these questions!

Even if not tied super tight the positioning can reduce circulation or put pressure on nerves causing numbness or weakness. Some people don’t realize until they are numb already. Asking them is helpful, you can also have them squeeze your hand to check for weakness.

While tying with tension, avoid articulations as tension points, it’s safer to put your restraints on the bones (for example, instead of tying the wrists, tie the lower arms)

Breathing is really important, ensure that the submissive can breath easily and safely during the scene (except if you’re doing breathplay, then always keep an easy way to let them breath)

When standing, always release the feet first. This way, a sub can always catch their fall.

When tying a subject upright, make sure you have the ability to set them free in under 10s and ask if they have any history of fainting. Some people suffer from HHS more readily than others, where blood pools in the legs. Happens when standing or suspended upright.

When doing suspension, don’t rotate a suspended sub hanging from caribiners. These may twist and detach. Buy a dedicated swivel link to allow safe rotation.
Credit @LeatherSamFin

When doing suspension with a pully/winch system. I find its better to lift the sub’s legs off the ground to achieve suspension rather than pulling them up. Use the system to adjust initial tension and height.

When tying a sub on a chair, lift and tie thier feet off of the ground. This makes them feel vulnerable without solid ground to put force on.

What to experience longer term bondage. Try to practice urinating in unconventional positions and into different containers. This makes things way more convenient for the Dom and you can enjoy not being let out. Lying down, on your side, kneeling, sitting down, etc. As a Dom choosing gear for a sub to wear. Keep in mind that tightness around the midriff or waist may impair the ability to urinate in odd positions.

Best way to cool a rubber gimp in bondage? Get a spray bottle, spray the gimps body and blow gently. Don’t overdo it

People are important rope isn’t- if in doubt break those scissors out!

For body parts you’re putting a lot of force on, like suspension, you should have extra space in loops. If it’s snug then multiples of the force you pull with squeeze all around the limb. With a little slack or bidirectional pulling, you can eliminate high the squeezing forces.

Credit: @MisterJNY

When using rope, don’t use knots that will tighten around the body when pulled.

Almost every fancy super neat looking complex tie can be done just as functionally just looking a little less neat using a bunch of simple 1, 2, n column ties and some basic foundational knots You don’t need to know the fancy ties or have all the gear to have fun.

Bend the knees before you tie above the knees. If the thighs are tied with the legs straight, later, if you bend the legs for a hog tie, the tie above the knees becomes too tight.

When using ropes to secure a sub, be sure to include a quick release mechanism where a simple tug on one end of the rope unties the setup…!

If they ask for „tighter knots“ I see that as „add more rope“. adding more tension easily can tie off blood or even worse restrict nerve

Locked joints like knees and arms often become uncomfortable way faster than even slightly bent joints. For instance, a little padding behind the knee can extend a subs ability to handle a position where their legs would otherwise be locked by hours.
Credit: @MisterJNY

2 safe words are a handy thing. In my playroom say ‚STOP‘ to immediately stop whats happening right at that second & reset. Say ‚IT’S OVER‘ to be fully, quickly released and the session is finished. It’s over has never been said, but it’s always there.
Credit: @Pup_Turismo
And remember, it doesn’t have to be „stop“. I love being able to say „stop“ in a scene without it stopping as it reaffirms the feeling of helplessness. When I use safewords, I prefer „Yellow“ as mercy and „Red“ as we’re stopping.
Credit: @MaskedBiker

I recently learned with a Dom the ‘happy birthday’ safe word, the sub can either sing or hum “happy bday to u” if they’re gagged.. quite universal and understandable. Me and my bf use either this for when I’m gagged or “yellow” and “red”.
Credit: @subboyArty

Always store your padlocks closed/locked. That way, you will always know you have the right key to open them. Don’t get caught out!

If someone is blindfolded they should be against something they can lean on to balance or be positively attached to something so they can’t fall. Even more important if their arms or legs are tied together in some way.

A key placed within what would be normal reach can really add to a bound sub’s predicament. Freedom is so close, and yet so, so far…

Provide somewhere for the sub to put their clothes/possessions (I use a plastic box) it cuts down on lost items. “If your ring/phone/boxers/dignity/… is not in the box you did not bring it with you.”

Choose your methods of restraint with the aesthetic of the scene and how much of a focus the bondage itself will be in mind! Zip ties, tape, plastic wrap, handcuffs, chains, and rope all have their time and place, there is no universal superior.

Having a standard start/end session routine can help subs shift headspace. I start sessions with the sub standing on a mat where I collar them. Sessions end on the same mat when I take the collar off.

Prior discussion and spontaneity. You can’t “overthink” when it comes to preparation. It’s important to know each others ins, outs, desires, limits & needs. But that doesn’t mean you can PLAN everything – being in the moment once the groundwork’s laid is crucial and the most fun!

A gag can cause someone to choke even if its not far in the mouth, simply from the build up of saliva. Similarly it’s not uncommon for noses to get clogged randomly. In either case it’s important to keep a close eye on anyone with a gag in and have a way to take it off fast.

Blindfolds are the default. While sensory deprivation is really fun, just imagine being able to see whats happening and not being able stop it. When removing a blindfold or hood turn the lights down as low as they go and use your hand to cover their eyes. Allow the eyes to adjust for a moment to the blocked dim light before moving your hand.

When releasing limbs from bondage, let the sub slowly start moving at their own pace. Stiffness releases slowly and differently for every person. If really needed, guide a limb slowly.